You Like Because, You Love Despite

One year ago today, I married the love of my life. The journey to our wedding day had its fair share of turbulence and bumps in the road, but marrying Ryan was the best decision I’ve ever made. When I’m with him, I feel more at peace than ever before. He makes me smile for no reason, holds me tight when I need grounding, and loves me unconditionally. He is everything I was raised to look for in a man—and more than I ever imagined I would find. I thank God every day that he’s my husband.

Before we got married, some people cautioned that “the first year of marriage is the hardest.” But my first year of marriage with Ryan has been my favorite year yet. Don’t get me wrong — our first year of married life wasn’t all bliss, but even the challenges felt meaningful because I got to face them with my best friend.

Within our first week of marriage, life confirmed that I had married exactly the man I was meant to.

We were supposed to leave for our honeymoon the day after our wedding. We had spent hours researching, planning, and packing for our trip to Thailand. That morning, we woke up as newlyweds—excited, giddy, and ready for the adventure ahead. We made sure everything was ready as we headed out the door.

Little did we know that the trip we had planned so carefully was about to become the farthest thing from what we expected.

To make a very long story short, our honeymoon quickly turned into a series of mechanical issues, missed flights, lost luggage, and sleeping in airport seats. But the real adventure began once we finally arrived in Thailand after three days of travel and layovers.

When we landed, I was detained in the basement of the airport because Interpol had mistakenly flagged my passport as lost or stolen while we were in the air.

Between the communication barrier and the lack of sympathy for my situation, Ryan and I spent hours trying to fix something completely out of our control—calling the U.S. Embassy in Thailand, contacting government offices back home, and desperately searching for any solution that might salvage our honeymoon. But every phone call turned into an unanswered email, and every email felt further and further from a resolution.

Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed and ugly crying in a basement that looked like it came straight out of The Hangover.

My sweet husband just sat beside me, trying to console me and reminding me, “It’s just a trip,” and “At least we’re safe.” In the moment, it didn’t feel like just a trip to me. And I certainly didn’t feel safe being constantly watched and confined to one small room.

But I will forever be grateful that Ryan gladly shared that confinement with me and never left my side. He was my rock.

And while I was completely heartbroken when we couldn’t get an emergency passport and were forced to fly right back to the United States, watching the trip we had dreamed about fall apart in every possible way, I knew without a doubt that I had married the right man.

We loved each other more than anything on our wedding day—but somehow we loved each other even more after our honeymoon fiasco.

The man who loved me all dolled up on our wedding day loved me just the same when I hadn’t showered in five days, was wearing the same clothes we left for the airport in (thanks to the lost luggage), and had red, puffy eyes from crying in that airport basement.

When we finally landed back on U.S. soil, I looked at my husband and told him, “If we can survive this during our first week of marriage, we can handle whatever life throws at us—as long as we’re together.”

Years ago, I watched the movie What If, and one line stuck with me:
“You like because, and you love despite.”

Love is a daily choice. There are times when I don’t like something Ryan does, but I choose to love him despite it.

One time, when Ryan was frustrated with something I did, he said, “You’re a pain in the *ss sometimes, but you’re my favorite pain in the *ss.”

And somehow that has become our way of saying, “I may be mad at you right now, but I still love you.”

One year later, I still find myself falling deeper and deeper in love with Ryan every single day. I love the man he was when I first met him. I love the husband he is today. And I will love every version of him that comes in the future.

Because at the end of the day, he is mine, and I am his.